Category: Let's talk
Hi all,
this is mostly for lou, akamodifaded. There seems to be no show on messenger ettiquette, and until he mentioned it, i hadn't thought of it, but thought it was a wonderful idea, so here goes. I'm writing these as I think of them.
1. don't bother messaging or calling someone if you are already heavily multitasking, unless you are 100 percent that the person you are messaging or calling is equally a heavy multitasker and won't mind.
2. if you decide to multitask heavily during the chat session, at least clear out with the person by telling them you have to go. you can give a reason, or no reason at all if you prefer, just don't leave them hanging, twiddling their thumbs and wondering, is this person going to answer me or not?
3. if the conversation starts lagging, end it, don't try and think of stuff just to keep the person hanging onif you have run out of things to say, or are having trouble thinking of things to say, it makes you seem overly desperate and lonely.
4. don't start a conversation by saying, I'm bored, it just makes the person you called or messaged feel you are using him/her as a boredom fix, ie, like you're bored, and this person was suppose to entertain or amuse you, and is falling down on the job. I should add a note to tip 1 which I sort of forgot. I only meant, don't bother calling or messaging someone if you are already heavily multitasking unless you can keep up with the conversation so the person you are in contact can't tell you're multitasking.
well, hope this is to the point modifaded, it was the best i could do at the time.
wonderwoman
another tip, learn how to type! some people can't type worth a crap and their stuff makes no sence what so ever!
well thats a goood one, but I feel typing errors can't be helped, whereas messing or skyping someone, then just leaving them hanging because of heavy multitasking can be helped.
wonderwoman
proofread what you type. That helps.
If you're having more than one conversation at a time, be sure you know what conversation you are in before responding to a message. It's quite imbarrassing and impolite if you send a message to the wrong contact, so be careful.
I've never done that, but i've talked to a few who have. but then, I'm never the one who messages one, then another then another then another and so on.
wonderwoman
I've never done that, but i've talked to a few who have. but then, I'm never the one who messages one, then another then another then another and so on.
wonderwoman
If someone's status says 'away' or 'busy', it's probably because they're hmmm ... away from the station or busy. so, don't badger them for responses or get the arsehole because you think they're ignoring you.
Similarly, try to ensure your status accurately reflects your ability or desire to converse.
If you have someone on your contact list, why not try actually talking to them, rather than just collecting contacts?
absolutely, my sentiments exactly.
wonderwoman
I agree with most of the above-mentioned rules. Although it might be true that someone might be chatting with you because they are bored, I’ve gotten comments where the person will say that they are only talking to me because they are bored or I was the only one there they could tell something to (even if that something wasn’t something personal.) The feelings/intentions of the ones who told me that may have been true, but they really did make me feel bad and slightly offended at that moment. I mean if someone really is bored in general, I don’t care that they tell me that, but it’s when they say something like “I’m only chatting with you because I’m bored,” or something more like that. For the multitasking thing, although I would want a conversation to run pretty smoothly with not too long of pauses, I really don’t mind when people are multitasking. It’s actually when people expect you to have an answer in a very short time after having sent their last message that I don’t like. They either send a nudge or say “hello” or “hay”, or something like that, or just assume you’re busy not even a minute after sending their last message, and to me that’s irritating because they are usually not the only person I’m chatting with, or I could’ve switched to another window to check on or read something really quick. Now if it were more than like 2 minutes, I would totally understand, but please don’t expect me to jump and immediately respond the very second you send me a message. If the pause is too long and we’re not thinking of anything else to say, it kind of depends with me. If it’s a text chat, I just close the window if we seem at a good pause, like if I or someone else has last responded with “OK”, or “yeah”, or a facial expression. But if it’s a voice chat, I’d agree with the above posts that you shouldn’t leave each other waiting for a long time, and I’d rather tell someone, or them tell me that they can’t think of anything else to say and that we will talk another time. And with the misspelling, it really doesn’t bother me much, I will ask if I didn’t understand something, or sometimes I can figure out what they were trying to ask. I usually end up correcting myself by habbit when I misspelled something too anyway. But it is a little harder to understand the person if they’re grammar and stuff are not that good but that’s mostly when English is not their first language. So I’ve had that happen. Usually I don’t mind, especially when they understand that I’m trying to understand what they are saying so we can communicate. But there are some of those ones that really don’t understand English that well either, and it does make it harder to communicate with those people.
As for my own rules, one thing that gets to me is when the first thing someone asks is that “ASL question”, or if they can have or see a picture of you. The “ASL” thing I think is kind of rude because it makes me feel like the person is not interested in getting to know me as a person. I don’t mind discussing my age, gender, and location in a normal conversation with that person, but to be expected to just flat out answer that question in one answer, I don’t like. Also, I guess because I can’t see the person, having a picture available right away isn’t as important to me, but I also feel like that’s more personal even than having a voice chat personally. It’s giving someone the personal information of how you look.
So anyway, that’s my views on chat ettiquet, as well as some of my own.
Yes, I also totally agree with Post 8. I admit I don't talk to everyone on my contacts list equally as often as each other, but I do like to make sure they are people I will be having a conversation with at least once in awhile. So I will say hi to the people I don't talk to as often, but I would want them to do the same thing for me as well, to at least start up a conversation with me once in awhile as well.
I don't mind if someone is multitasking while they're talking to me, as long as the pauses don't get really long, longer and longer. Since I don't have as many contacts on my messenger as I use to, the chances that i'm goiong to be talking to 2 or 3 others is very slim. Usually when someone messages me, I drop whatever i'm doing and respondinstantly, but if i'm voice chatting, I usually put my status on busy, since I can't voice chat and text chat at the same time very well. so far, i've been lucky enough not to have someone come right out and tell me they're only talking to me because they're bored, but if if it happened to me, that person would be off my contact list, and would be history as far as I'm concerned, quicker than you could say messenger. I seldom if ever message anyone, but rather let them message me, or call me on skype as the case may be.
wonderwoman
Yeah, I personally don't like to voice and text chat at the same time either. If someone else can do that, I don't really mind, but for me, I'd rather just be concentrating on talking on the voice chat, rather than trying to do that and typing and messing with hearing JAWS read my text conversations too.
I wonder how people actually do it. I mean, when they're hearing jaws and the person too, how can they telll what's being said by both jaws and the other person? I wish I could multitask well, then I wouldn't be so bored while other people do it and i'm just sitting there waiting, waiting waiting. of course, if the person is a good enough muiltitasker, you wouldn't even be able to tell they're doing it. But I wish I could multitask and be really good at it, but since i'm not, I'll be polite and not do it at all.
wonderwoman
I wonder how people actually do it. I mean, when they're hearing jaws and the person too, how can they telll what's being said by both jaws and the other person? I wish I could multitask well, then I wouldn't be so bored while other people do it and i'm just sitting there waiting, waiting waiting. of course, if the person is a good enough muiltitasker, you wouldn't even be able to tell they're doing it. But I wish I could multitask and be really good at it, but since i'm not, I'll be polite and not do it at all.
wonderwoman
Another rule Ihave is to ask someone before you add them to messenger. Also, before adding someone, make sure that you're going to talk to them more than once.
how true, I've had people whom I've talked to only once on there.
wonderwoman
i always proofread what i say. i mean to say, lakqpqurtycsavnwiqorptoiy. so there!
Well I don't have that problem, download87. I cull my MSN list regularly so if you haven't spoken to me or made the effort to respond for say 21 days, you're off the list.
With msn, Only the select few have my msn address. I just don't let anyone have it. Msn is more private than the zone, and you can add who you want, and block who you want. O, before blocking someone on msn or the zone, have a valid reason for doing so. Blocking someone for the heck of it is quite rude.
well sometimes I find its just not working out, and if you just delete them without blocking them, they can see you and you can't see them, I don't like that. if you can see when i'm on line, I should be able to see when you are online. it should be even, so if i decide its just not working out for me, i block before deleting.
wonderwoman
Yeah, I do that, too. If I'm going to delete someone, I may as well block them as well, since I only would delete the people I'm not or not going to be chatting with; I never just delete someone for no good reason. And I also agree with post 16. I like chatting on Messenger, but think it's weird when someone adds you but then never messages you or only messages you once and then never again. There are actually some people who I've never chatted with at all, and some who I don't remember whether or not I've even chatted with because that's how long it's been since we chatted. I've tried chatting with some of these people, but either I never got a response or I guess we couldn't think of much to say to each other at that time. Post 19, your system sounds good. I'd feel weird about deleting some people, but I do want to know that I have these people on my list because we're chatting and not just to have them on there. I'd personally give it 30 days because I know I don't log in often at times either, but that sounds fair, I think.
Good go a hed, block me. See if I care! lol!
Hey. I can add to the whole typing topic. I think what some people may be referring to is this phenomenon that seems to be happening that I'll term aol, or AIM speak. The advent of texting on cell phones and on aol has brought about this thing where people will type 2 or 3 letters to signify a phrase. For example, the question "How are you"? suddenly becomes h r u? there are others but I think people who do it are lazy and need to learn how to type full sentences. Granted I don't always spell everything right and I do need to work on proofreading a bit better but you can at least get the jist of what I'm trying to say. Also, another thing I've seen on msn, and not so much skype is this thing where people will sign into messenger and they'll put a message up like studdying, please do not disturb. I wanna say, if you don't wanna be disturbed, why the hell did you sign in? If you absolutely insist on it just set yourself to busy and you won't hear any sounds to disturb you. In other words, if you don't wanna be disturbed, don't sign in and give people the opportunity to do that. LOL
It's nice for them to type full sentences. The good thing is that jaws knows these abreviations, and I know what they mean. The only abreviation I use is lol. A reason why someone would want to use these abreviations is because you only have a limit of so many characters. I think if you are going to say something long and detailed, you can just send me an email. You all are right. It's good to block someone, then delete them. I had to do that once.
I only use skype for business messenger a little for fun. But mostly for practicing with my pipe band leaders.
People on my messenger list have very long names so when they type a message i have to listen through their intire name just to hear one word which drives me nuts.
Haha! I feel your pane. Lol.
Regarding the long-screen-name problem: if you're using MSN, you can disable the speaking of screen names for incoming messages. Control-Shift-V should accomplish this. Hopefully the same functionality exists for AIM if that's what you utalize.
Thanks for the tip, Jim. I'll try it next time I get into a conversation with someone with one of those annoying long screen names.
Out of politeness, shorten your screen name, because you don't know if that person can disable screen names, or if you don't use msn messenger.
or you can also go into jaws verbosity with jaws key-v and disable it there. One question I have is what's the maximum length of a windows live message? How many chars can you type maximum that is?
Kerby
My name on MSN is only short I don't know what the maximum number of characters for one message is. I also hate it when people start using abbreviations, like lol or u or r or 2 instead of the word two. The only one I use when I think something is funny is "Hahahaha!". If people are going to write something, they should write it properly or not at all, because I don't really unde5rstand it and because if they do that quite a lot in text messages or on MSN, they will start doing it all the time. I had a friend at my old school who wrote a whole paragraph in her exam in exam in text language and then realized she had to to go back and change the whole thing. It's sometimes hard to read what you've written on MSN or on here, because if I press the backspace key, jaws won't tell me what I've deleted.
I have skype ettiquette advice. If you are in a call and need to hang up, tell the contact you're wanting to end the call with that you have to go. Don't just hang up on the one you're talking to on skype! I had a contact do that to me. When I called a friend of mine on skype, he just told me that he'd just talk to me on messenger, and hung up!
Do not add the entire world to your contact list. I actually chat to my contacts and don't just have them there for no good reason.
And if you can chat via voice, please do that. it's way better and more personal. when you text chat, one can very easily misunderstand what the other party tried to say and alot of fights started out on text chats. Just my take on things. Obviously, if it's just a hi, how are you chat, it's all good.
Well, that may be true, but not all of us are able to voice chat. When I voice chat, I use this software that lets me type in what I want to say, and a voice reads it to the one on the other end. I use this software because I don't have a microphone.
I agree with most of the rules mentioned.
Indeed, there is a certain internet edicit.
Now this long name thing brings up another thing. Write your tag in the correct box so that each time you send your tag doesn't play over and over, like "It's bath day for my dog pepper says."hahaha. That box is the next one down from where you have typed your name. Yes the name thing in MSN can be disabled, but it's nice to have if your chatting with several people at once you can check to see who your sending to if you don't have them set on numbers. I use the numbers 1 through 5 for multi conversations. Wonder Woman asked about text chatting and voice chatting at the same time. I can do this easily and not lose a beat. I learned this skill working customer service for years, so. SMILE I don't have a progblem with multi tasking people do it and if your gone to long I do my multi tasking too and leave that window open tell I leave the machine period. If they send while I'm away it will come as an offline message.
Ah, multitasking, I like that. I can text chat to two people at the same time. As far as voice chatting and text chatting at the same time, I'm unable to do that. Since I have to type when voice chatting, It's not easy to multitask.
well, I use bitlbee with msn and aim and such. Despite what i use or not use, I find it quite pointless when you waste bandwith just because some people just sit there and type endlessly and never talk to you on skipe. Those are contacts i ave deleted from skipe. other times I also dislike it when people never change their status and still you message them and they never message you back.. then the excuse becomes "sorry, i wasn't at my computer at that time.". I am sure most people who host servers or do a lot of p2p or whatever leave their computers on most of the time, which by me i could care less--its totally fine, however it is still annoying when you message someone you think is online and then you're left like an idiot waiting for an answer. Most of the times I start conversations as well. Whenever I change my screen name I always put my name, a colon and then the phrase I'd like, like this
Juan: Rich Text Format (RTF) converters are disabled by default in Windows XP SP2. Nice going microsoft.
I also hate messaging someone and them not replying. Just change your status! One thing I'm not to fond of is calling someone on skype, and them not answering the call. I say, if you're going to be online, answer the calls or reply to messages.
O, here's another thing that is good to do. If you use skype and have a bad internet connection like mine, warn contacts that the call could drop at anytime without warning. Also, if your internet is so bad that you sign in and out of messenger, tell your contacts that it's your internet, and you can't help it. That away they won't be quite so annoyed.